An open letter to a mother of an unwanted child...

Hi. You may not know me, but I know what it is like to be all alone in this world. I have some idea of what pregnancy is like; my wife has been through several of them. And she says it can be uncomfortable at times, it can even be overwhelming at times, too. There is the nausea, the lack of energy, also some worry and some fear, mixed in.. I mention this because I am starting to get a sense that things can indeed be difficult, even painful for those who may not have the support system we have had.

I ask simply that you reconsider terminating your pregnancy. I am sure you have had doubts and concerns about all the problems this baby might cause in your life. And I will be honest and tell you that, yes, raising a family is NOT easy. And a
mother that doesn't give a care to these thoughts, well she would not be a good
mother at all.

I ask this of you so that you will consider the real options that you have.

You can give your baby up for an an adoption into a loving, caring home. There
are so many couples in this country today that cannot have children. In fact, there
are more than there are available babies. There are open adoption options where you may not have custody but can visit and see your baby. There is a closed adoption option where you cannot see your child at least until they are 18 if they seek to find you and you allow it.

There are many organizations and ministries waiting for you, praying for you, and hoping you make the right choice. Many are even able to help with housing, the birthing process, assisting you with getting emotional, physical and spiritual support you may need during this difficult
time.

You may choose to inform the father of the baby. Maybe he wants this child or someone in his family (or yours) may desire to keep this child.

You can choose to keep this baby, raise this child up as your very own and get
through your present diffculties one way or another. This is an option most often
ignored when you are in a panic situation.

This doesn't have to be a time to panic, it CAN be a time of rest, hope, and preparation for the future.

Yes, the future does not have to be a fearsome thing. God says in the Bible that we "are fearfully and wonderfully made", and that His desire is to bless us and make us prosper. Other places in the Bible say that children are a gift from above, a great treasure or value. I understand you may not feel this way, right now or ever. But that doesn't change the fact that God intends children to be a gift for us.

There are consequences that must be realized if you have this abortion procedure. There is often the experience of guilt, a profound sense of shame and of loss. There often is a physical and emotional healing that is real and painful. These things often will not be told to you at the abortionist's office.

I therefore urge you to see beyond your very real and present difficulties. Please see that there is a possibility that you may not have considered. Please see that there is someone else who cares, and may God be with you and Bless you during this time and forever into the future.

Amanda recounts the day she was counseled to get an abortion...

"I was alone that day, and was about 4 months pregnant at the time. I went for a regular Obstetrician check-up and my team of doctors had rotated, so there was a new one at the office. So we did the checkup, and afterwards we talked in her office. She said, "Your baby will probably have "water on the brain", and only live a couple of days, so you might want to have an abortion."

I left and felt extremely dissilusioned, grieved, shocked and unprepared. I drove home feeling this way. I had not thought this situation was that bad, and was overwhelmed by all the pressure I was experiencing.

I got home and immediately called "Focus on the Family", talked with a chaplain. He reminded me that life begins at conception, and that I was being tested. Overall, I felt supported and encouraged by this chaplain.

I don't remember ever seeing that doctor again, but feared I would. I irrationally feared she would deliver my child and try to harm it somehow. I thought that since some of the doctor's were pro-life, the whole team would be.

I never became convinced my baby was okay until I gave birth to her.

My Grace I Give You

Our oldest, Grace Ashley, was born March 26, 2000, a normal, beautiful, 7 lbs, 7 oz. little girl. It wasn't always that way. Early on in Amanda's pregnancy, the doctors were saying that Grace was not gonna be okay.

At 11 weeks gestation, an ultrasound picked up an abnormality. It showed an abnormal nuchal translucency reading which pointed to a possibiity of having a child with Down's Syndrome. This meant a host of complications, such as heart problems, developmental delays, and other physical, emotional and intellect challenges.

One so-called medical expert said our baby might not survive a day past birth, in that her heart might not be strong enough. Another advised us on abortion. This, in a Baptist Hospital? I was not preparted to hear this. Grace was our first child, so all this was quite a shock.

We asked that our church pray for us and asked advice of some parents who were members. One was a doctor and the others were a couple who had a child with Down's Syndrome. In fact I had taught this boy in our Youth Group. They both were very encouraging and helped us so much! We saw God is in control and that we were stewards of whatever He gave us. It was such a blessing to see it that way.

Another blessing was that we realized the amount of support we had and that we would be able to handle (with God's help) whatever came across our path. we would never consider abortion, but do understand the tremendous concern and worry young parents may have when faced with such a situation.

Well, a few months went by, more specialists saw Amanda and more powerful ultrasounds were conducted. Over time, the abnormality disappeared and everything appeared normal.

Later, I found out that there is a false positive chance of 5%. That means that 1 out of 20 times a parent is given the potentially bad news that there child might be different... oh what a word! And yet we perservered and did not give in to the temptation of aborting our child. How could we?

I sometimes wonder how many parents make that decision, based on incomplete evidence. How many couples, and even single mothers, who may not have the support systems we had, the faith we had, even the positive thinking I had, how many, make that choice, to abort a baby that might not be absolutely... perfect?

This is a question I will consider on another day, another post, another time. Please leave your thoughts and comments and questions.

Well Grace today is a tall, sensitive, bright and creative young lady. She is aware of this "miracle" that occured even before she was born. She knows that God has a special plan for her life and we look forward to her doing great things in Gods Kingdom. Amen!